The flurry of ‘Happy festivities’ messages that I (happily) received recently left me wondering: Is there a secret to happiness? Apparently, there is, and here it is.
Did you know that there is a formula for happiness? Ok, (drumrolls please), here it is: the formula for happiness H=S+C+V. In simple terms, happiness is a function of our affective style (S), the conditions of our lives (C), and our voluntary activities (V).
Now, how we compute these factors to arrive at a state of happiness is not easy. Personally, I don’t think it is even possible. So does that mean happiness is elusive?
Not really, although it might seem so. As we scroll, swipe, meditate, and self-care our way through life, wondering if lasting happiness is just one motivational podcast, avocado toast, Far Eastern holiday, or deep breath away, that emotion seemingly continues to elude people. Henry David Thoreau summed it up best, and it’s a piece of advice one should perhaps heed: “Happiness,’’ he said, “is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”
We often treat happiness like a competition or a race, as if it comes with a gold medal at the end. The real secret is that it’s not so. It’s simply a gentle contentment that creeps in when we stop trying so hard to find it and instead start finding joy in small things: a good conversation, a slow morning, a favorite song, a long drive with your loved one, a good cuppa...
But is happiness something one needs to “achieve” – a milestone? Ancient Indian philosophers didn’t think so. Patanjali, the author of the Yoga Sutras, was convinced that it’s our endless wanting that makes us unhappy. Instead of conquering the world or accumulating more, he suggested that we learn to want what we already have.
So is that the secret to happiness?
One of the most fascinating individuals I have had the honour of meeting and interacting with has to be Dasho Karma Ura, the president of the Centre of Bhutan Studies and the Gross National Happiness Research Centre in Thimphu. A leading expert on happiness, he was happy to share with me some reasons Bhutan ranks high in the global happiness index. "We Bhutanese believe we need both material and non-material things," he told me. In simple terms, things money can buy and things it cannot. "And they are not substitutable." The basic error people make is believing that if they have sufficient money, they can substitute everything by buying or commanding things.
"Money,’’ Dasho was sure, “cannot buy everything."
He may be right. A 2010 Princeton University study found a correlation between happiness and wealth. People’s happiness increases up to a point of around $75,000 per year after which, the researchers found, happiness levels don’t go up with an increase in wealth. That said, the study also found that the lower a person’s income, the worse they feel.
At the end of the interview, I remember asking Dasho if he had discovered the secret to happiness. "I don’t know if it’s a secret really," he said with a smile. “But sleep well, that’s very important. Eat with care, meditate about 30 minutes a day to free yourself from obsessive thinking, spend about an hour in social service… and be grateful and count all your blessings.”
Then he said something that left me thinking for a long time: "Think about death at least once a day; it will help you stay grounded.”
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